Last fall, one of the teachers I was working with got my attention when she said, “I know you’re really busy, but….” and then continued with a request for support. This teacher may have simply been softening her own appeal, but it really gave me pause. Was I sending the vibe that I was so busy that I couldn’t help others? Since that was actually the most important thing in my job description, I wanted to make sure teachers felt I was available and accessible.Since then, I have examined what I unknowingly do to send the signal I’m too busy. I know I walk really fast through the building, getting to the next stop on my agenda. My muscles feel tight, and I am thinking about how to make the most efficient use of my time. I know I get intently focused when I’m at my computer working on a project. I’ve even caught myself scowling at the screen because I am so absorbed in my work. I occasionally complain about how much there is to do or comment about how many projects I have going on. These are the things I’ve caught myself doing that may unintentionally send the signal, “I’ve got more important things to do than talk to you.” I realized I was wearing my busy-ness like a badge. I think subconsciously we sometimes imply that we must be important because we have so much on our to-do list.
I have a friend who is one of the busiest people I know. She homeschools her three kids, bought a small farm so the kids (and she) would have animals to care for and other responsibilities. She has a job that, although flexible, takes a lot of time. Yet, she never gives the impression that she’s busy. She makes time for a conversation. She sits back in her chair when she talks. She stops to chat when I pass her. She is the first to assist when there’s someone in need. People confide in her and often ask her for help. And she gives it.
I’ve thought a lot about this friend and the ambiance she exudes. If I want to be perceived as available for coaching work, I need to be more like my friend. I need to be ready for an informal chat. I need to stop hurrying and start listening. I need to look and feel more relaxed so that others will find me open.
Since my teacher friend got my attention last fall with her tempered request for help, I have intentionally worked on having a more approachable stance. Instead of a badge of busy-ness, I want to exude an aura of availability. With a little more yoga and a little less on my to-do list, I might just pull it off next year!
This week, you might want to take a look at:
As a coach, it helps to be likeable. J Here are 13 habits of likeable people:
Teaching and measuring social-emotional learning:
Are graphic novels real reading?
Regie Routman describes how to build the trust students need to learn:
A 10-minute podcast on engaging teenage learners:
That’s it for this week. Happy Coaching!
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